Monday, January 10, 2011

For BFA critique

It's just the left page that is ready for critique. I'm saving text treatment for later.


  1. Hello!
    First of all I love the colors! Overall. However, I think that you could bump up the red in the girl's hair, like a strawberry blonde. I would suggest darkening the water that is closes to us, so that the girl really pops out, but not TOO dark! It might look good if you lengthened the snake's tail, enough to make it go behind his head, so that his neck overlaps it.
    Ok, so, this next part might be a bit nit-picky...
    So, you see that strand of hair that comes in front of her neck? It sort of makes her head a little disconnected from her body. Also, I might get rid of that line by her mouth, I think she would look younger without it. Ok, now, you see that part of the snake on the bottom left side, that goes out of format? Its alllmost a tangent, so I would suggest making him a little thicker over there, so that its not a tangent.

    I hope that some of those comments help! Have a nice day! c:

  2. Hey Shara,
    I'm way stoked to see your BFA project! This is looking great. I agree with just about everything Hannah said. I only have a couple of quick comments. I didn't get a chance to really analyze it but here are just a few first impressions. First off, I think I would have her eyes looking at the vest on the snake instead of at us. Usually I think it's best to avoid having any character looking directly at us unless it has something to do with the story. My other suggestion is to help the trees in the background and the other girls recede as well by cooling them down a little bit. And perhaps desaturating them just a smidge. Just some thoughts. I love the snake!

  3. Hey Shara... Nice job here! I really enjoy the composition and the "designy" border. I'm almost curious to see what would happen if you were to make your blues just a touch more green. Also I think I want to see either a little more translucency to your water - so where the form of the serpent dips into it, you see a continuation of that form as it gradually fades into the murkiness of said water. My reasoning for this, is that the water just feels a little too tangible to me, similar to the solids that constitute the rest of illustration. I also want to see forest continue back into the distance. It just ends in a nebulous mist. I really like the posing of the girl in the water! Though the water could possibly influence the body of her hair more. It doesn't look wet. It would get darker and straighter as the water begins to saturate it. Another idea... what if you used a blending opacity mode to let some of the paper texture bleed through and into the illustration?

    All in all, though, great job!


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